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Making snide remarks since 1987

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Fermentation Station [16 May 2008|11:57am]
[ mood | happy ]

Is it wrong to eat a bowl of sauerkraut before bed? I'm beginning to think my eating habits ARE abnormal, like others say.

I feel great today. I went for a walk yesterday, and brought back a heavy bag of groceries filled mainly with canned cat food. My heels may be blistered, but my lungs are loving life right now.  I'm tired of seeing Katie go days without food before being fed by me, so I'm going to assume the responsibility and feed her daily. Yes, it's going to cost money... but my conscience won't let me do otherwise. She's officially my baby.

Also, the Mercedes is completely in my possession... seeming to be quite happy with her new owner. And vice versa.

It's finally Friday!

Tonight we drink. Tomorrow we beach. Sunday we... recover from massive hangover and curse life.

1337 enuff

Emotional Baguette [14 May 2008|08:55am]


I will not rely on others (or a specific other) to make me feel good about myself, because it will never be enough to satisfy. I need to regain complete independence from my emotional baggage.



10hax0r|1337 enuff

The FDA. If only they were that innocent... [12 May 2008|04:22pm]
 
1337 enuff

CHEAP BOOZE WEEKEND!!! [08 May 2008|04:13pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

I would like to start off by saying...

CHEAP BOOZE WEEKEND WAS MOST TRIUMPHANT. Any of you poor bastards who decided to do something else... just know, you royally fucked yourself over.


The mock-meat B.B.Q. was quite enjoyable with a more intimate crowd of 4 of 5 people and an array of delicious, condiment smothered treats. It was great to see Kari (who's been M.I.A. for quite some time) and I hope she decides to come around more often. She needs too, actually... because her shoes are at my apartment! Haha, evil plans do succeed...

Anyway, here are a hundred-some pictures to view. Be prepared to have the shit stomped out of your face by their awesomeness.




HUZZAH!!!Collapse )

HUZZAH!!!Collapse ) 

HUZZAH!!!Collapse )

8hax0r|1337 enuff

Killing time until I feel alive again. [05 May 2008|11:24am]


Monday you can hold your head.
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed.
Or Thursday watch the walls instead.
It's Friday i'm in love.


2hax0r|1337 enuff

Another Bad Reaction [25 Apr 2008|09:50am]
[ mood | indifferent ]

There's a large cup of black coffee sitting a few inches away from me. It's purpose is to serve as a source of motivation to get through my workday but I haven't touched it since I set it down. I imagine the contents are cooling rapidly and will soon be unfavorable to drink.

People seem to be more irritated with me than usual, and I'm beginning to think I'm less the "good person" than I thought myself to be. I don't know anymore. Maybe everything's the same. Maybe everything's great. Maybe I've just been drinking too much, not sleeping enough, and maybe I just need to snap the fuck out of it.

Yuk. It is cold.

Whatevs. I'm feeling a little more optimistic today. Twice I've had my head stroked, so I must be doing something right.

Oh, and... a word of advice: Don't leave your sex toys under your sheets when you're done with them. Especially not when you have guests over. It could lead to extreme humiliation when you accidnetly plop down on them and have to dig through sheets to mute the vibrations. Twice.

"Not only did I hear it that time, but I felt it!".

It doesn't help when your guests are male, attractive, and will now make fun of you forever.



Bluh... cold, bitter coffee consumed.

10hax0r|1337 enuff

SEA-TAC? Like "hard tac"? That shit sailors eat on the sea? [17 Apr 2008|08:38am]
[ mood | tired ]

Virgin Airlines is highly underrated. They have video games, television, food ordering services, etc. all from the comfort of the little touch-screen monitor in back of the seats.



Did I mention "adult beverage ordering"?
Ahhhh yeah...Collapse )

Uh huh...Collapse )

Mmmmhmm...Collapse )
Anyway, I'd make this more detailed but I have a hangnail I need to attend to.

2hax0r|1337 enuff

A much needed escape from reality... [09 Apr 2008|09:36am]
[ mood | excited ]

After this past weekend, and these two hectic days of work... my vacation has finally arrived.

I'm off to PDX (cheap booze) & SEA (expensive booze) til Monday.




I hope I remember to pack deoderant.
2hax0r|1337 enuff

[07 Apr 2008|04:17pm]

I slept about two hours last night, and awoke with a blistering headache and aching body this morning. Getting out of bed was a monumental challenge, all the while thinking of excuses to tell work about why I'm going to be late.

I suck it up and get to work on time anyway, only to find...

The phone system isn't working properly.

Long story short, on top of feeling like death itself, I have to answer phones for over 90 people on the floor, and take hand messages with name, what the message is regarding, and phone number to email to them.


My phone won't stop ringing. My hands can't stop typing. My mind isn't functioning, and my body is going to shut down soon.


: (

 
I need sleep. Badly.

Half an hour left.
5hax0r|1337 enuff

Walking on the beaches, lookin' at the peaches... [03 Apr 2008|11:28am]
[ mood | busy ]

Aahhh...  Bloody hell. Don't you hate it when you're roastin' by the pool in your Spanish villa, and a giant fucking boulder tumbles down a hillside, barely missing you, but crashes into your pool... completely OBLITERATING your heart-tile mosaic? 

WTF.




I rented a few movies from Blockbuster a couple nights ago, so Danielle came over for some (incredibly disapointing) Subway, and we watched "Sexy Beast". GREAT FILM, GAIZ! If you haven't seen it, I suggest picking it up as soon as you can because once you DO see it, you'll be embarrassed that you hadn't seen it earlier. Definitely not what I was expecting from the cover.

For a few weeks now, my horoscope has been insisting that I'm going through a stage of major "rebelliousness", and I'm beginning to agree. No, I'm not just referring to my drastic hair transformation.

Today, it also suggests a major purge of material possessions, which is funny... because I just gave away a crapload of clothes... (some fairly expensive, and sellable) a couple nights ago.

 I don't know if it's just 'at-time-o-the-mo', but I could really use a good snog right now.

And a cookie.

I think I'm going to head down to the farmer's market today for some strawberries.

Maybe even flowers. You know, whatevs.
 
4hax0r|1337 enuff

Vegetarians Have Better Sex. [02 Apr 2008|01:21pm]
[ mood | content ]

People are idiots. 

High School boy to two friends: Dude, you'd be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.

--E train

Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.

--Small diner, Chinatown

Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn't like oral sex is because he's vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it.  (The best one imo.)

--112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really -- try me!

--Columbus Circle 


Someone sent me that and I found it amusing.

2hax0r|1337 enuff

Patience Is A Virtue [27 Mar 2008|09:47am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

But it's definitely not one of mine.

After many years of wanting, and recent urges to shave my head... I decided to get a mohawk. I bought an electric trimmer from the confused and slightly freaked out lady-clerks at Sally's Beauty Supply (joking that I was inspired by Britney Spears), and not waiting for Cosi to help me the next day... I went at it.

I like it a lot, and aside from making a couple ignorant scissor snips on one side, I think I did a great job. It needs some touching up on shaving near the long hair, since I was pretty cautious about not buzzing off wanted strands... but hopefully Cosi will help me with that.



It looks uneven in this pic, but I'm just holding it up weird. I'm a little bummed about having to tease my hair (it's the healthiest it's been in over 9 years.) but alas, it grows back... and will be amazing in the meantime.

So what happens when I get bored in a week?

Well, my friends, I'll simply go blonde.

5hax0r|1337 enuff

Lately... [25 Mar 2008|09:09am]
[ mood | chill ]

What have I been up to? Well, you know... same ol, same ol. 


ZOMG... our hair is liek.. MATCHING!

 
SCHWOAH!Collapse )
Cat Cult lead us away from our original plan of

 
SCHWOAH AGAIN!Collapse )
7hax0r|1337 enuff

Finally, all is going according to plan. [21 Mar 2008|02:19pm]
[ mood | at peace ]

 A monastic consciousness 

Valid during many months: At this time you will reach a new understanding of your own being and the world around you. In recent years you have probably been through periods of great doubt, uncertainty and confusion. Although those periods were painful they have contributed to your new view of the world. Now is the time to deepen and take advantage of your new understanding. This is an excellent time for studies that can raise your consciousness, such as yoga, occult metaphysics, spiritualism and mysticism. Now you are able to study these subjects and put them into practice in your everyday life. They will not be purely intellectual or mental activities - you can make them real and useful! 

At this time your own ego involvement in your activities is low. You are more likely than at other times to act for altruistic reasons. You can devote yourself selflessly to movements and activities that help you bring your ideas to reality. Yet you do not feel that you are denying yourself, for everything you do seems to be a logical expression of what you are.

Your ideals are not in conflict with the realities in your life at this time. They are in creative balance, with the ideal giving form and the real giving life. Your approach is one of calm sober reflection. This is not a time of lightness and gaiety; instead it produces an almost monastic consciousness that contemplates the world with detachment.


You have learned much in the last several years, and now you will be able to put into practice what you have learned. 

 
2hax0r|1337 enuff

World Pillow Fight Day (Los Angeles) [20 Mar 2008|02:25pm]
[ mood | SCHWOAH! ]

Most amazing (but not eco-friendly) idea ever. PLEASE COME!

BYOP(illow) to Pershing Square on Saturday, March 22 at 3:00 pm because it's World Pillow Fight Day and the LA Burners are hosting the downtown, transit accessible, event. 

Cities Participating!

Atlanta | Boston | Budapest | Chicago | Copenhagen | Denver | Dublin | Houston | Huntsville, AL | London | Los Angeles | Melbourne | New York City | Paris | Pécs, Hu | Portland | Roanoke, VA | Seattle | Shanghai | Stockholm | Sydney | Székesfehérvár, Hu | Szombathely, Hu | Vancouver | Washington, DC | Zurich |

And yes, there are rules:

Soft pillows only!
Swing lightly, many people will be swinging at once.
Do not swing at people without pillows or with cameras.
Remove glasses beforehand!
The event is free and appropriate for all ages.
Wait until the signal to begin.
This event is more fun with feathers! *I don't agree with this one. Wasting feathers that were taken from birds.... not cool. Just fill the pillow with glitter or confetti or something!*


If you are out of town there are dozens of other cities participating, just check out the official site for more info.
TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! The more people in attendance, attacking people with pillows, the better!

BYOP(illow)


Footage from San Francisco pillow fight lasting over an hour. ZOMG SO MUCH FUN!





http://www.pillowfightday.com/

http://www.pillowfightlosangeles.com/
 
3hax0r|1337 enuff

ALL HAIL KEWPIE [18 Mar 2008|04:36pm]



YES.Collapse )
10hax0r|1337 enuff

Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying? [14 Mar 2008|02:02pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I was searching for pictures of jelly shoes, and I came across this:




Do you remember people wearing shit like this? I certainly do. Thank God that crap isn't popular anymore.

I wouldn't mind, however, seeing an eldery drag queen wearing them accompanied by these.

End rant.


(Oh, and thank JEEBUS it's Friday. This weekend is going to be amazing.)

7hax0r|1337 enuff

Max's 23rd B-Day [12 Mar 2008|10:01am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I wrote a long, detailed entry for this, and LiveJournal deleted it.

Fuck it, here are some pictures:







CURSE YOU, LIVEJOURNAL!Collapse )

9hax0r|1337 enuff

A Little Ultra Violence [11 Mar 2008|01:25pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Todays Subject:

Violent Douchebag "Villains" That You Can't Help But Wanna Screw

(In no particular order)

Russell Crowe in Romper Stomper. I'll start off by saying, I really dislike Russell Crowe. He's a great actor, but let's face it. The man is a massive wang, and he's not even that hot. EXCEPT, of course... in this Australian Skinhead flick. White power never looked so good.


Malcom Mcdowell - Alex in Clockwork Orange. I'm not really sure how to explain this one, other than I think his outfit is hot, and beating people into a bloody pulp shows real confidence and manliness. Who am I kidding? I'm so into men wearing fake eyelashes.


 

Edward Norton - American History X. Yes, another Neo-Nazi Skinhead for the pile. Ed Norton is t3h sexx. Period. However, there's something about him in this role (I'm referring to the beginning of the movie), the muscle, the baldness, the... ignorance? Yeah... delicious.


 

Christian Bale - American Psycho. This one just comes down to Christian bale being a fox. Look at this poor unsuspecting bitch. She gon get it, and not in the way she hopes.





Robert De Niro - Taxi Driver. I'm a big De Niro fan, so obviously if I like him old... I'll like him even more as young, hawked, and crazy.

 

Tadanobu Asano - Kakihara in Ichi The Killer. Probably my favorite character, and my dream man. He proves that fashion and body mods get all the chicks. He's not really into getting laid or making friends; But he likes to torture, be tortured, and create fabulous new outfits. I'm not really into inflicting pain on anyone.. but for him I'd make the exception. I'd saw off his fucking limbs if he'd just ask.





Anyway, that's just for starters. I reckon the attraction comes down to power, machismo, style, and just not giving a shit.


 

Add to my list!   : )
7hax0r|1337 enuff

My head is full of magic, baby. [07 Mar 2008|04:34pm]
[ mood | ...anxious ]

For the first time, in a long time...

I feel excited and a little scared about the future.

But I much prefer that fear,

to no feeling whatsoever.

1hax0r|1337 enuff

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